Notions and Bear Claws

being emotionally manipulative isn’t very punk rock of you

So this is 28. I’m very much on the other side of my twenties now, there’s no going back. I’ve almost achieved all my life goals on paper, but the circus that surrounds me is still whirling around like a carousel.

Do you listen to the things you hear?

It’s on impulse, then there’s a desire, one of a whimsical kind. I’m ever so close to being a character in a tragic 90’s rom-com movie. Actually, I am tempted to write a novel about it. You’ll find it in your local book store soon, sitting on the shelf next to the paperback about heartbroken Manhattan girls finding love in unexpected places with totally unsurprising people.

(spoiler: it’s their boss, or someone’s brother)

Why am I still chasing these same circles, tearing open old wounds and detoxing only to overdose on a new notion. Dis-genuine people and fake promises fall around me like tacky confetti. Then I write about it all with a bit too much emotion. But as my good friends in Peace would say, you don’t walk away from love.

If only it could feel this real forever

These days go on and on, and they change the way I hear all my favourite tracks. My mood is grey like the ominous rain clouds that keep cursing the summer air in this city.

Big headphones, coffee and creative work will get me through. Sticky rhythm guitars, thick and sweet like strawberry jam ease me out of the harsh reality of early mornings.

By now I think I’ve lost my head, it’s been replaced with the cloud emoji. I walk around with it resting between my shoulders. Floating on through the motions of self pity.

The Playlist:

Black – Pale Waves
Out On The Street – The Vaccines
Are You In Love With A Notion? – Courteeners
Bear Claws – The Academic
High and Low – Empire Of The Sun
You Don’t Walk Away From Love – Peace
This Life – Vampire Weekend
Bubblegum – Mystery Jets
8 (circle) – Bon Iver

Show me all your flaws, show me your bear claws and go rip your heart out tonight

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